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Loneliness

I never feel lonely. I heard somebody say recently that they couldn't understand why anybody would choose to be single and lonely, the implication being that solitude is the cause of loneliness. This is, in fact, false. Being alone is not the cause of loneliness.

Loneliness comes from the illusion of separation. There are actually two ways to approach it. One is to realize that even when we are with somebody, we are still "alone." It is not really possible to be "with" somebody in the sense of a relationship. That is a delusion created by the ego, a sense of clinging and attachment. This is not to say true love isn't real. Naturally it is real, and the bonds between people in love hold strong indeed. But we remain each entities unto ourselves, with different thoughts, and feelings, and perceptions. So although we may be close in proximity, we can still be as distant as two stars in space.

This brings us to the second way of looking at this delusion of loneliness. Although it appears we are separate entities, this is not really the case. Our minds and perceptions may be unique to us, but we would be fundamentally different without the influence of others acting according to their own thoughts and perceptions. For example, I would not be the person I am now if you were not the person you are now. Knowing you changes me. In fact, every person we meet changes us to some degree or another. Just think of the implications. You make an impact on everyone you meet, for better or for worse. What a tremendous responsibility. And the connection doesn't end with human beings.

We are all interconnected with our environments in complex ways far beyond our understanding. Like the "butterfly effect," nothing in the world, or even the universe, happens independently from everything else. It is not possible to bounce a ball on the street without both ball and street. Likewise, it is not possible to be born into the world without you, the world and everything in it. Everything is connected, and there truly is no such place as "far away."

Proximity is a poor measure of solitude, because it is never really possible to be distant from anybody. It comes back to the old saying, "No matter where you go, there you are." Time and space are relative, especially in regards to people and things that hold special meaning in our lives. Even death isn't much of a boundary when we realize the depth of our connectedness.

It took me thousands of miles and several years to come to this realization. It happened on the beach the first time I reached the West coast. As I let the Pacific Ocean wash over my bare feet, I thought about my father who had passed away in Florida several years earlier. After all that time, across all those miles, and even across the boundary between life and death, I realized I was no farther from him than I'd even been. In fact, I don't think I'd ever felt closer. Time and space aren't very important in such matters, even less so in today's world of technological miracles, in which we are constantly connected with one another (perhaps to excess).

So I never feel lonely. How could I? Everything in the whole world is right here. Where else would it be? I am here, you are here, and here we are, along with everybody and everything else in the universe. It is not being alone that makes us feel lonely, but the illusion of separation. If we see the truth...that we are already together, every one of us...our loneliness vanishes like a shadow in the sun.

Laugh at the Sky

"When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky." ~ Buddha

When things go wrong it can be difficult to remember how perfect the universe is. We face environmental disaster, economic crisis, war, destruction, hunger, and suffering on a terrible scale. It is right to feel compassion and concern for these things, and to do what we can to help. But the moment we give ourselves over to grief, despair, or depression, we throw away all our power and deny our connection to the infinite divine. No matter the scale and scope of our problems, they are only tiny drops in an ocean of perfection.

The Universe is working perfectly, and you are an integral part of it. Will you choose to be swept aside by the flood, or will you stand as a beacon of courage and hope for all humanity? Everyone has the potential to be a Buddha. Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj said, "In my world, nothing ever goes wrong." You don't have to laugh in the face of tragedy. But don't let tragedy define your world. Remember to take time to breathe, to walk, to look at the stars, to love, and yes...to laugh. One day, all the things that today seem so serious and troubling will be gone, but the stars will shine on.

So shine!

Image courtesy of NASA/JPL-Caltech

Smile Like the Buddha

"Wherever there is light, there is shadow; wherever there is length, there is shortness; wherever there is white, there is black. Just like these, as the self-nature of things can not exist alone, they are called non-substantial." ~ Buddha

If you have seen a statue of the Buddha, you may have noticed a subtle smile on his lips. His expression remains tranquil and detached, yet his smile betrays a hint of amusement, as if watching squirrels at play. We don't watch squirrels chase each other around with a critical eye, judging the quality of their antics and measuring one squirrel against another. We merely watch and enjoy. When we learn to abandon the habit of judging and measuring the things we encounter in our everyday lives, we come one step closer to seeing the world through the Buddha's eyes.

What did the Buddha mean when he said things like length and shortness are non-substantial? Imagine placing a stick on the ground. Alone, it is just a stick. Now, place a longer stick on the ground, next to the first. How would you describe the first stick? Shorter. The stick is the same as it was before, so what changed? Only your mind. Before measuring one stick against the other, the concepts of length and shortness did not arise. Because of your own mental projection, and for no other reason, one stick became short, while another became long.

It may be tempting, when discussing such dualities as light and dark, for the concept of balance to come to mind. This is not about balance. There is no mystical state of balance between the concepts of "long" and "short." These are mental formations, without substance. Light and dark, white and black, good and evil--none of them can exist without a basis of measure, and someone to measure them.

We observe that the nature of grass is to be green, and the nature of the sky is to be blue. When we make these observations, however, we also create the nature of not-green, and not-blue. All are without substance, and vanish the instant we cease to think of them. The sky is not blue until it is observed to be blue. In fact, the sky is not even sky until it is observed to be sky. Before being observed and quantified, a thing simply "is what it is."

Quantum theory demonstrates the act of observation actually changes what is being observed. The very moment we focus our attention upon a thing, the nature of the thing changes. Everything we can think of works in this manner.

Descartes famously stated, "I think, therefore I am." He reasoned that, in order to get down to the true nature of things, we must start with the assumption that nothing exists. In the same way I can walk down the street, I can also imagine walking down the street, or dream of walking down the street. For this reason, the senses are proven fallible and unreliable. Of only one thing can I be certain: Because there is a thought of something outside the self, there is, by necessity, some form of "self" having the thought.

Eckhart Tolle expertly noted this phenomena in his book, "The Power of Now." As we learn to listen to the mind's dialogue--the constant "color commentary" we hear in our heads most of the time--we may gradually become aware of a second "self." On one hand, we have the talker--the active mind, racing around and commenting about everything. And then we have the listener--the mysterious, quiet entity, patiently listening to the talker prattle on. Suddenly, we may feel a little crazy. "Wait, there's two of me?" Indeed, this can come as a startling revelation. This calmly observing entity we have discovered is the "I" in Descartes' "I think, therefore I am." It is the real you, empty of all compound formations; completely, profoundly, sublimely, whole and perfect.

As we learn to still the active mind, listening and observing without judgments, measurements, or conclusions, we begin to see the world in its pure form. Like in the eye of a hurricane, we can be calm and peaceful in the center of chaos. We may feel more alive, and more tuned-in to the Universe. Circumstances and events that once caused stress or anxiety lose their power over us. Compassion grows, and worry lessens. These things happen naturally, without effort, when the "talker" stops talking and the "listener" wakes up. This is what it means to "awaken." In fact, the word "Buddha" actually means "awakened one." As we become more skillful in observing the world in this way--quietly, without judgment--we may suddenly find ourselves smiling...just like the Buddha.

~ Heather Haze

Put Down the Duckie

One of the great ironies in this pursuit for enlightenment is that the harder you chase it, the farther away it gets. It cannot be arrived at on purpose, but is instead an exercise in letting go. The moment you decide, "Now, I will go out and find joy," you have already gone off track. Purity of mind is your natural state of being, a condition uncontaminated by attachment or delusion.

It is like finding a golden box, buried in the back of a closet. The closet is packed with other boxes, each one filled with all kinds of stuff; all your thoughts about everything and anything. Obviously, you can't get to the golden box by adding more boxes. You have to let go of all the clutter to get to the prize. Meditation is a conveyor belt for removing that mental clutter. Whenever we come across another box, we peek inside, stick a label on it, throw it on the belt and watch it glide effortlessly away. Finally, all we have left is that last golden box. But just like all the other boxes, we peek inside, label it "enlightenment" and throw it on the belt. Then what are we left with? Just an empty closet.

Being an empty closet may sound a little weird, but it is this "empty space" that allows us to see clearly. Most of us spend a great deal of time adding things to our lives, but hardly ever "clean house." We accumulate things, ideas, beliefs, judgments...all of which add up to inflexibility. How can you open your hands to receive the gifts of the world, when you refuse to put down what you already hold? It is in our nature to be pack rats. We collect not only material things, but mental and emotional things, too. The extent to which our minds are open and flexible is the measure of how capable we are of receiving joy.

One of my favorite songs is from Sesame Street. It is entitled, "Put Down the Duckie," and contains the most profound wisdom you are ever likely to hear. If you are familiar with the show, you know that Ernie is quite fond of his rubber duckie. One day, Ernie was trying to practice the saxophone, but became frustrated by his lack of success. Confounded, he asked a real blues musician (Mr. Hoots) what he was doing wrong. Hoots immediately noted that Ernie was trying to play the sax with something in his hand. Thus were sung the wisest words I have ever heard: "You gotta put down the duckie if you wanna play the saxophone."

If you want to be successful in any endeavor, it is best to free your hands. More importantly, you must free your mind. You can't empty your hands--or mind--by picking things up; you have to put them down. Just because you put something down, it doesn't mean you can't pick it up again when you need it. The fear we must overcome in releasing our attachments is that we will lose the things we love. Herein, however, lies the magic. When we completely free ourselves of our bondage to "things"--be they material or mental things--we suddenly realize we haven't lost anything at all, but instead, we have gained the world.

Possession is an illusion. The only thing we really have is our own conscious awareness, centered in the here and now. This moment, and nothing else, is the entirety of our existence. All the things we find around us are temporary and fleeting. Our minds create boundaries of possession, and we may cling to this and that, but ultimately we cannot own even ourselves. Everything is in constant flux. Objects and ideas pass in and out of our lives, and we watch them like we watch the clouds come and go. Even the people we love are here only briefly. This is why it is so essential to live and appreciate our lives, right here, right now.

There is no path to happiness. Joy cannot be found out there, somewhere, someday. You can't go out and get enlightenment, like picking up a prescription at the drugstore. You won't find it by seeking it, and you can't acquire it by holding on to things. Empty your closet. Free your mind.

Put down the duckie.

~ Heather Haze

This Is It

"The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart." ~ Buddha

Where will you look for happiness? Many people spend their whole lives in search of fulfillment, looking to the future, all the while thinking they'll finally be happy after they accomplish this, or obtain that. In the end, however, life proves to be a tremendous let down. The answer was never "out there, somewhere." It was inside all along. There is no place to go, there is nothing you must do. There is no there; there is no then. Everything you ever were, everything you ever will be, you are now. Take joy in whatever you are experiencing this moment, because this moment is all there is. The time to wake up is NOW. Don't waste another precious second dreaming about "somewhere over the rainbow." You're already there! This is it!

The Nature of Truth

"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." ~ Buddha

We know what the sun is, we see it every day; we feel its warmth. We know what the moon is; we have even walked upon its surface. But what is truth? There are many definitions, but it seems likely the Buddha was referring to the ideal of Truth, that fundamental reality which permeates all perceived experiences. Truth is the silence between the notes, the blank page, the empty canvass. It is what is left when all our attachments, delusions, and judgments are dissolved away. The interesting thing about Truth is that it cannot be hidden except by our own permission. It is always there, ever present. Words cannot even touch it, much less conceal it. Truth is far beyond the trivial machinations of human society.

People tell lies all the time, for all kinds of reasons. There is an old joke, "How do you know a [lawyer, politician, etc.] is lying? His lips are moving." Humor aside, you could apply the same joke to all humans, and you might not be too far off. It is our nature to create, invent, and imagine. We choose words and symbols to communicate our own unique perceptions of the Universe, but no words or symbols can accurately encapsulate the actual experience of living one's life.

The underlying Truth of existence can only be observed in the singularity of each empty moment, the point at which there is no time, there is no space, there is no self. Everybody experiences this, at various times. Such accidental brushes with Truth are usually fleeting, however, and few ever recognize them for what they are. Fewer still ever learn to get there on their own.

Meditation is, of course, the best vessel we have for realizing Truth. When the mind is calm, the body relaxed, and the spirit serene...there it is. It was there all along, like the sun in the sky, only momentarily obscured by passing clouds. Thankfully, even in the rainiest place on earth...sometimes the sun shines.

~ Heather Haze

Anger and Conflict

"In a controversy, the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves." ~ Buddha

Anger is a function of the ego, arising when our circumstances clash with our inner desires or expectations. In truth, the situation is the situation; neither good nor bad. It simply is what it is. Anger arises from the inside out, a reaction of our ego's inability to accept reality--almost like a mild form of insanity. It may be a natural human emotion, but that does not make it "good." Anger is a symptom of a problem, an indicator that something is obstructing the wisdom within us.

To some extent, anger can be turned to our benefit; to alert us to a problem, and guide us towards growth. It is a warning signal that we have lost our patience, and perspective. With practice, and awareness, one may learn to recognize the warnings, and quickly release anger. Most people, however, allow themselves to be driven by their anger.

Action motivated by anger usually results in suffering. There may be some instances where anger seems justified, and may even help preserve one's life (in a life-or-death, self-defense situation, for example). These instances are rare, however, and even then...anger is something one does to oneself. It is vitally important to understand this. Using anger as a weapon is like lighting a stick of dynamite and running towards your enemy. You may hurt your opponent, but no more than you damage yourself.

It is far better to enter into a situation fully awake, centered, and unaffected by anger. In this way, we can choose our battles carefully. We can walk away when there is no need to fight. And when, through wisdom and clarity, we find sound reason to enter the fray, we can devote 100% of ourselves to the battle, ending it quickly and with minimal suffering. Then we are practicing compassion not only for others, but for ourselves, as well.

~ Heather Haze

Understanding Unity and Duality

"Unity can only be manifested by the Binary. Unity itself and the idea of Unity are already two." ~ Buddha

The Heart Sutra gives us, "Form is emptiness, emptiness is form." You cannot have a thing without the empty space surrounding that thing. Indeed, at a quantum level, even "things" are comprised of mostly empty space. There is no separate "thing" apart from the emptiness, and there is no emptiness without the existence of "things" with which to fill it. Going back to the quantum level, we find even "empty" space is full of stuff.

So we can see that this most basic duality of "thing" or "no thing", is merely a trick of perception. There is no this and that. To really get to the bottom of this, one must go beyond concepts and words, and experience it first hand.

One must become fully cognizant of Unity before one can understand the true nature of Duality. You cannot get at it through thoughts or language. You have to let go. Meditation is essential.

It is like a steel door. You cannot get through it by throwing things at it, or yelling at it. You just have to open it. Nobody can tell you what's on the other side. When the door is open--and there are no obstructions--all you have to do is walk through and see for yourself.

Thoughts are obstructions. Let go and open up. See clearly, not only with your eyes, but with your mind, body, and spirit. Feel the earth beneath you, the air around you, the sky above you. Feel the breath of 100 billion living beings and recognize it as your own. Feel your self melt away into the infinite sea of perfection.

Meditate. Still the mind. Empty yourself of your self.

When you see the symbol of yin and yang, do you see a black half and a white half? Look again! There is no black without white, or white without black. Contained within a single circle, each half is absolutely essential to the whole, yet meaningless without the other. Not yin and also yang, but one, single "yin-yang".

So we have a unified yin-yang, wholly contained in a circle. But even with a circle, we find duality. A circle has an inside, and an outside. The inside cannot possibly exist without the outside. Each is contained by the other. Looking outside, we find another circle containing the smaller circle. And another containing that. We can't see the biggest circle; we call that infinity. What lies beyond infinity? And beyond that?

The Heart Sutra gives us the following mantra: "Gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate, bodhi svaha." Roughly translated from its original Sanskrit: "Gone, gone, gone to the other shore, and beyond even that. Awaken!"

We may feel separate from our environment, as if this thing we define as the "self" is somehow contained within our skin. Here "I" am, inside here, and there, outside, is everything else. What a tragic mistake of perception! You are not contained in a bag of skin. You cannot exist without the environment around you. You are made of air, and water, and earth. You are even made of fire. Do you doubt this is so? What you eat must come from the earth, and nothing grows upon the earth without the fire of the sun.

Don't think about it and say, "Yes, that sounds reasonable," or, "No, that's all nonsense." Let go of all your notions about this or that. Go beyond thoughts, beyond concepts, and get straight to the heart of the matter. Open the door and see for yourself!

~ Heather Haze